As therapists, we have to be able to talk with our clients about many intimate aspects of their lives. Speaking about issues such as child abuse, trauma, rape, assault, incest and other difficult subjects are a part of everyday conversations for most therapists – it goes with the territory.

However, you might be surprised to know many therapists are uncomfortable about asking about the sex lives of their clients. And if you’re working with couples where sexual issues arise all the time, it’s critical you don’t miss asking about this important area.

Sydney sexologist and sex therapist Tanya Koens has recognised this is an area that is difficult for many therapists and is passionate about helping therapists reduce their discomfort when asking their clients about their sex. So we spoke to Tanya about this issue and others related to sex therapy and sexual issues in relationships.

In this interview she discusses:

  • how she came to be interested in sex therapy
  • some of the most common myths about sex therapy
  • why some therapists struggle to talk about sex with their clients
  • why it is essential therapists talk about sex with their clients
  • when the sex conversation needs to be initiated in therapy
  • what to do when your clients are highly uncomfortable while  speaking about sex
  • some of the most common sexual issues Tanya sees in her practice

Listen to the audio above to hear Tanya’s thoughts on this important area of clinical work.

Workshop for Sydney health professionals

If you’re interested in developing your skills for working with clients with sexual issues, Tanya is running a workshop in Sydney for health professionals called How to Talk About Sex for Practitioners on 8 September 2015. Click here to read more and to register.

About Tanya Koens

Tanya Koens - sex therapist

Renowned Sex Therapist and Relationship Counsellor Tanya runs a busy practice in Surry Hills in Sydney and has many thousands of hours of clinical practice as a sex therapist and relationship counsellor. She works with a variety of clients from single males and females, through dating and married couples, same sex relationships, kink, poly and gender queer. She also lectures and teaches about sex and sexuality and is currently the Vice President of the NSW branch of the Society of Australian Sexologists.

Tanya’s focus is on conscious and authentic relating. Her approach is practical, uses humour and draws on many different counselling frameworks and models to help people relate authentically and consciously to themselves and others. Find out more about Tanya at